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At times, Jay Spring feels he is “unmatched in his abilities”. Living with narcissistic personality disorder, his periods of extreme self-importance can become “highly unrealistic”, he states. You feel invincible and you think, ‘The world will recognize that I’m better than them … I will achieve remarkable feats for the world’.”

For Spring, these times of heightened ego are typically coming after a “emotional downturn”, where he feels sensitive and ashamed about his actions, making him highly sensitive to disapproval from others. He first suspected he might have this personality condition after researching his symptoms online – and subsequently evaluated by a clinician. But, he questions he would have agreed with the assessment unless he had independently formed that conclusion personally. Should you attempt to inform somebody that they have this disorder, {they’ll probably deny it|denial is a common response|they’re likely to reject it,” he says – particularly if they harbor a sense of being better. They operate in an altered state that they’ve constructed. And in that mindset, I’m the greatest and {nobody can question me|no one should doubt me|my authority is absolute.”

Defining The Condition

While people have been identified with narcissism for decades, it’s not always clear what is meant by the label. “Everyone calls everybody a narcissist,” states an expert in narcissism, adding the word is “used more than it should be” – but when it comes to a formal diagnosis, he notes many people hide it, as there is significant negative perception associated with the illness. Someone with NPD will tend to have “an exaggerated self-image”, “difficulty understanding others’ feelings”, and “a tendency to exploit relationships to seek admiration through behaviors including pursuing power,” the specialist explains. Those with NPD may be “deeply egotistical”, to the point that {“they’re not able to hold down stable relationships|“their jobs are damaged|“they have a distorted view of reality,” he emphasizes.

Emotional connections were never important about anyone really, so relationships weren’t a priority relationships seriously

Sex-Based Distinctions in NPD Presentation

While up to 75% of people diagnosed with NPD are males, research suggests this number does not mean there are a lower rate among women, but that narcissism in women is frequently manifests in the covert form, which is under-identified. Narcissistic traits in men tends to be a bit more accepted, as with everything in society,” explains a 23-year-old who posts about her dual diagnosis on social media. It’s fairly common, the two disorders appear together.

Individual Challenges

It’s hard for me with dealing with feedback and being turned down,” she shares, whenever it’s suggested that the problem is me, I either go into defence mode or I become unresponsive.” Although experiencing this behavior – which is known as “self-esteem damage”, she has been trying to overcome it and take advice from her loved ones, as she doesn’t want to slip into the harmful behaviour of her past. My past relationships were toxic to my partners in my youth,” she states. Via therapeutic interventions, she has been able to manage her condition better, and she notes she and her significant other “have a dynamic where I’ve instructed him, ‘When I speak manipulatively, if my words are controlling, point it out {right then and there|immediately|in the moment’.”

Her upbringing primarily in the care of her father and notes she didn’t have positive role models during development. “I’ve been learning all this time what is suitable or harmful to say during a fight because I lacked that guidance in my formative years,” she says. “Nothing was off-limits when my family members were criticizing me when I was growing up.”

Underlying Factors of Narcissistic Traits

Conditions like NPD tend to be connected with early life adversity. Genetics play a role,” says an expert in personality disorders. But, when someone shows signs of narcissism, it is often “tied to that specific childhood circumstances”. Those traits were “a coping mechanism in some ways to manage during childhood”, he adds, when they may have been ignored, or only shown love that was conditional on meeting certain expectations. They then “persist in applying those same mechanisms as adults”.

Like several of the those diagnosed, John (a pseudonym) thinks his parents “might exhibit similar traits. The individual says when he was a child, “the focus was always on them and their work and their social life. So it was like, don’t bother us.” When their attention turned to him, it came in the form of “significant demands to achieve high marks and career success, he notes, which made him feel that if he didn’t fulfill their expectations, he wasn’t “acceptable.

As he grew older, none of his relationships were successful. Emotional investment was lacking about anyone really,” he admits. “So I’ve never taken relationships seriously.” He didn’t think loving someone, until he met his long-term relationship of three years, who is facing similar challenges, so, like him, has difficulty with mood stability. She is “very supportive of the internal struggles in my head”, he explains – it was surprisingly, she who initially thought he might have NPD.

Seeking Help

Following an appointment to his general practitioner, John was referred to a clinical psychologist for an assessment and was told his diagnosis. He has been referred for talking therapy on the public health system (extended treatment is the primary approach that has been shown to help NPD patients, specialists note), but has been on the treatment delay for an extended period: The estimate was it is probably going to be early next year.”

Disclosure was limited to a handful of people about his condition, because “prejudice is common that all narcissists are abusers”, but, in his own mind, he has accepted it. This understanding allows me to understand myself better, which is positive,” he says. All of the people have accepted their narcissism and are pursuing treatment for it – leading them to be open to talk about it – which is probably not representative of all people with the disorder. But the presence of individuals sharing their stories and the rise of online support communities suggest that {more narcissists|a growing number